Use Your Facebook Network

Well, it’s hardly original but certainly is true that the story of the book I plan to publish came to me in a dream.


I woke up with a sneeze, a craving for pasta and the content feeling of having had a proper laugh. My heart was smiling but it wasn’t letting me in on the joke, so naturally my mind poked and prodded, sniffing out the source of this unexpected bliss. It came to me as I brushed my teeth, while I stirred my cup of tea, at the first bite into my tuna melt sandwich and by midday the story of Mallowmale’s Magical Sneezes was born.

Before the dream, I had spent the day absorbed in researching and writing a sex scene for a food-themed piece of fiction.

It’s a hard job but someone’s got to do it.

Yes, my working day comprised of reading the most celebrated and smuttiest pieces of steamy literature I could find. I never knew that sneeze erotica existed…oh, what a sheltered life I have lived.

By the end of the day my mind was so deep in the gutter, the mayor of 69ville gave me the keys to the city—so, I can only assume that the innocent, simple tale that entered my subconscious must have been a desperate attempt to scrub my mind—a palate cleanser of sorts.

I wrote the story down as urgently and spontaneously as possible, each word made the story real and as the story unraveled in my mind, the characters began to breathe and the tale took root in my heart. I knew this was the book I would publish first, it was more than a good feeling; it was tangible.

Well, that’s fine and dandy but where do I start? I headed straight to Facebook to lament on the peculiarities of life when it struck me—we all have certain types of people as our friends on Facebook:

The Grammar Nazi: who posts memes about your vs. you’re or the proper use of a semicolon.

The Bookworm: who has read more books than you’ve had poops this month.

The Creative Hipster: who hangs out with artists and musicians.

The Beautiful Girl: whose face could launch a thousand ships.

The Budding Photographer: always posts amazing pics and has mad photoshop skills.

These are resources to be used.

No, don’t give me that look.

It’s rough out there, trying to publish a book with no money.

The dream is free but the hustle is sold separately.

With that in mind, this awkward loner did the unbelievable—she asked her friends for help.

I solicited the help of a Grammar Nazi and Bookworm to read and review my work; I asked the Beautiful Girl and Creative Person if they would use their network to help me find a graphic designer.

— is how I met my illustrator and proofreader.

Yeah, the Internet surprised me with kindness and I found out that sometimes the most supportive people are not relatives or loved ones but the acquaintances we call friends on our news feeds.


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